Is It My Hormones or Is Everything Actually on Fire?🔥
Perimenopause, PMDD, and the monthly breakdowns that might be telling the truth.
This one’s for anyone who’s ever wondered if their brain is broken, or if maybe the world just is. We’re talking PMDD, perimenopause, mental health, and the hormonal chaos that can make you want to burn your life down every month.
But also: there’s wisdom in it. There’s a community. And yes, there are tools. (We made a couple of free ones to help you track the madness.)
But before we get into it, can we do a quick soft launch of the Covvn website!?!?!
Take a look, let us know what you think. Covvn.com (EEK!) ✨✨✨
What we’re stirring up this week:
🚨 PMDD Is a System Alert
🥬 Bad Mood Triage from a bad B
📣 We Need to Talk About Perimenopause and Suicide
🧰 Free Tools for the Messy Middle (Download)
🚨 PMDD Is a System Alert
What my body taught me about burnout, collapse, and truth
Every month, around the same time, I feel like burning it all down.
My job. My marriage. My home. This quiet life I’ve built. This peace. “Light it up!” she screams from within. Burn it down.
My mood swings are sharp and sudden. My stomach is in knots, and my shoulders are tense. My sleep gets weird. I can’t focus. I get angry at everything and nothing. I become someone I don’t recognize, someone who questions every decision I’ve made.
Then I remember I have PMDD.
And no, PMDD isn’t some TikTok wellness fad. It’s not just a bunch of women on Reddit venting about hormones. It’s not a trendy diagnosis everyone’s suddenly claiming.
Fun fact: Historical references to severe pre-menstrual mood swings appear as far back as Hippocrates in ancient Greece. ANCIENT GREECE!
But it wasn’t until 1987 when researchers introduced Late Luteal Phase Dysphoric Disorder (LLPDD) in the DSM‑III‑R appendix, marking the first formal categorization of PMDD.
Just recently, in 2013, PMDD was officially classified as its own psychiatric diagnosis in the DSM‑5.
This is not new. We’re just finally talking about it.
In the same way that I’ve learned to reframe my alcoholism, not as a shameful flaw that makes me different, but as a superpower that keeps me honest, I’m starting to reframe my PMDD, too. I’ve started to wonder what if this isn’t a disorder? What if it’s a warning system, one that’s working just fine? Because lately, the world feels a lot like my body during the worst part of my cycle.
Inflamed. Exhausted. On edge. Like something is about to snap.
We’ve been in survival mode for years. Pandemic. BLM. Trump. War. Grief. Disillusionment. More war. The climate. The economy. Reality itself. And yet we’re still expected to answer emails, show up to work, and pretend everything is fine.
But it’s not fine. And maybe the unease we feel isn’t dysfunction. Maybe it’s a signal.
PMDD makes it impossible for me to pretend things are okay when they’re not. It shows me what’s off. What’s not sustainable. What I’ve been ignoring.
It says: You can’t keep giving more than you receive. You can’t keep betraying your truth to survive. You can’t keep pretending this pace is sustainable.
What we’re calling a crisis is a message. The system is trying to collapse, and we keep trying to resuscitate it. We treat exhaustion like a failure instead of a signal. We treat grief like a problem instead of a passage. And I think the world is showing us the same thing.
The systems we live in, ie, capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy, were never designed to support human bodies. Or our spirits.
So we burn out.
We numb out.
We get sick.
We break down.
The realization I had this past month, after burying our dog, hitting a major wall at work in a severely broken organization, and getting Covid for the second time in three months, is that I don’t think my PMDD wants me to suffer. I think it wants me to wake the fuck up. And I think the world is doing the same.
If you feel like you’re falling apart each month, you’re probably closer to the truth than you think.
But let me tell you, you're not broken. You’re the signal. And we need to hear your alarm.
🥬 Bad Mood Triage from a bad B
We didn’t expect to get mood support tips from TikTok, but here we are. This gem from @lisahoney.bee had us laughing, nodding, and wondering if sea moss might be part of our next hormone survival kit. (Anyone tried it? Seriously, let us know.)
📣 We Need to Talk About Perimenopause and Suicide
Too many women are dying in silence. We need to start naming the risk.
It Happened Again
Another woman I know, mid-40s, warm, radiant, smart, died by suicide.
That makes two now. Two bright lights gone, each leaving behind stunned families, devastated friends, and entire communities asking the same question: Why?
No one can say for sure what took them from us. But I keep circling back to something too many of us feel and too few of us name:
Perimenopause.
That hormonal rollercoaster that shows up sometime in your 40s, uninvited, and brings along its grab bag of mood swings, brain fog, rage crying, existential dread, insomnia, and a general sense of who even am I anymore?
For some of us, it’s annoying. For others, it’s destabilizing. And for a too-quiet number of women, it becomes dangerous.
Let’s Talk About the Risk
Here’s something I wish more people knew: women are three times more likely than men to experience suicidal thoughts or attempt suicide. That’s not an opinion, that’s decades of research talking. Hormonal changes, especially the ones that come with our cycles and the transition into menopause, are a huge part of that story.
Recent studies show suicide risk spikes during the week or two before our period starts (hello, luteal phase), especially for folks with PMDD. Up to 72% of people with PMDD report suicidal thoughts. One in three has attempted suicide.
This is not just a “bad week.” This is life-threatening.
That’s why we made this Notion template: a simple daily log to track symptoms, spot patterns, and make sense of the chaos. It’s not magic. But it’s a tool, and sometimes, a tool is what keeps you from losing it.
Not into Notion? We got you. Here’s a free Google Sheet version too. Use what works. Leave the rest.
What We Need
🗣 More honesty
Let’s say “perimenopause” out loud. Let’s talk about our rage, our grief, our hot flashes, and heartbreak. No shame.
🩺 Better care
We need providers who understand hormone-linked depression, who know that “you’re just getting older” isn’t a treatment plan.
🔬 More research
Because we deserve to know who’s most at risk, when, and why, and what might actually help.
👯 Community
Because trying to white-knuckle your way through this alone is a setup for silence. And silence, as we know, can be deadly.
If any of this feels uncomfortably close to home, please hear me:
You’re not losing it. You’re not alone. You’re not a burden. You’re living through something real, and you deserve support.
And if you’re someone who loves a midlife woman, check in. For real. Because the ones who seem “fine” are often the ones holding it together by a thread.
This isn’t just hormones. It’s life and death. Let’s stop pretending otherwise.
🧰 Free Tools for the Messy Middle (Download)
We know this stuff is a lot. That’s why we made a couple of free tools to help track symptoms, spot patterns, and support yourself (or someone you love) through the hormonal chaos:
📓 Notion PMDD + Mood Log
A daily tracker to help you notice patterns and plan around your cycle.
Grab the Notion template📊 Google Sheet version
Not into Notion? Here's the same tool in a simple spreadsheet.
Get the Google Sheet
Use what works. Leave the rest. And let us know what’s helping.
With love and moonlight,
Covvn